The One With Legacy, Heritage, And Fall...

Out of the darkness and into the light. A long season of life has passed without much plight.

That pretty much sums up the past five months or so. Life has been somewhat mundane but not without a few minor blips on the radar. A month after my last entry, I winded up purchasing a 2003 Mazda Protege5 and selling my 2008 Mazdaspeed3. With the generous help of my father-in-law, we left Albany on a Saturday afternoon and picked up the Protege5 in Atlanta. We got back pretty late that evening/morning (it was around 1:00 AM if my memory serves me correctly), and Buddy had to preach the next morning. It was an incredibly nice gesture and Buddy could sense that I really wanted to pick up the car that weekend. He and Tonya had just returned from a long driving trip from central Florida to see Chad. He had been away from home for days, but he was more than game to make this impromptu trek to Atlanta with me. Looking back on it now, it was a good time in the car just bonding and growing closer to him as only a car ride can do. Not only was that time invaluable with Buddy, it gave me and Amanda an additional $10,000 to put into savings for when we have little ones running around. I think Buddy even mentioned that it was an investment for him as he’s chomping at the bit to be a grandfather.

In the beginning of July, I visited my dad and grandma in Southern CA. The stay was incredibly good for the soul and belly. Grandma's cooking was on-point and I had plenty of it. Dad and I watched 12 DVDs in a span of three days - Redbox and Blockbuster kiosks are very kind to the wallet...not to mention uber convenient. We also watched lots of World Cup soccer, baseball, and Wheel of Fortune. Grandma and dad had forgotten when WOF came on, so I reacquainted them with it. It was always one of their favorite shows when I was growing up. They both like the simplicity of seeing letters turn (a way to learn English), but even more so, the contestants being greedy and losing their potential winnings to the humiliation that is BANKRUPT. They marveled at how long Pat and Vanna have been on that show. It has been a REALLY long run. Remember when contestants could use their winnings to shop for different items on the carousels? Nobody ever bought that poor porcelain dalmatian.

It's weird that when I'm out there I don't feel like I'm as much of an adult as when I'm back in Tallahassee. Maybe it's because both of them feel like they still need to take care of me like when I was younger. They update me on family current events, but what I find even more interesting and meaningful are the stories that Grandma tells me of when she survived the World Wars in China with all of her kids in tow. It's unbelievable the amount of sacrifice she made when she raised my dad and his siblings. She literally starved herself for days in order for her oldest son to buy shoes so that he didn't have to walk barefoot to school any longer. Hiding in trenches while bombs exploded with two children in her arms while being pregnant. The stories get repeated some times, but I don't ever have the heart to tell her. A part of me knows that every word spoken is a driving force to keeping the Kan family legacy alive. I am so incredibly grateful for the way she raised me and Tony when mom and dad had to work 70-80 hour weeks.

When I look back on my childhood, I am sometimes astonished that Tony and I didn't turn out to be some hooligans on the street. We hardly got to see mom and dad during the week - except on Mondays, their day off, when they would pick me up from school and we'd go catch a movie, get some pizza, or go to the department store. They each had an important role in how we became to be, but that doesn't mean that I often forget all of the sacrifices they made. I think as I'm getting older now, I want to pry into the past more and more about the hardship mom and dad had to endure when they decided to come to the US. A few hundred dollars and four large suitcases are the only things we had in our name when we made the pilgrimage to Queens, New York. It was October of '82. We saw snow for our first time that winter. I found out first-hand how salt and snow aren't the friendliest to Tonka trucks. Except mine wasn't a Tonka. It was probably a knockoff of some sort from Woolworth since that's all my parents could afford at the time. I played with that yellow metal truck until it was deemed unsafe to play with due to the amount of rust it had accumulated. There are so many of these stories. And I'd like to delve into them slowly as I try to sort them all out in my head. I wrote a mini-autobiography titled, "Made in Taiwan" for a Freshmen paper during my tenure at FSU. It's on a floppy disk, so I'll need to print that up and hopefully transfer some of that over into the blogosphere.

Summer has flown by and we have now officially entered into Fall 2010. Men's softball is approaching mid-season and racquetball is still prevalent as is evidenced through my aching knees and other body parts. I get teased from all of the older players that I can run faster than them and whatnot, but they have years upon years of experience on me, so it winds up being a wash. I sure do miss my younger days where the relegation of aches and pains didn't vary from day to day. I know I won't be able to keep up this pace forever, so I might as well enjoy tolerable pain for the time being.

Just a quick shout-out to Amanda and my brother-in-law Chad for showing me the unwavering love that you have for your parents. You guys have sacrificed many hours to help your mom and dad fulfill God's plan in their lives. It has been deeply moving to see the closeness that you all have for one another. What a great testament to how your parents have raised the both of you, and how that comes full circle in life. It all goes back to family heritage. Me and Amanda have come from different family backgrounds. However, the differences are blurred by the similarities. We both have loving and wonderful grandparents...and I firmly believe that the lineage runs true and to the core of our hearts. The foundation of both of our families are strong. Our homes growing up were filled with an abundance of love and sacrifice. We were taught right from wrong, how to love, and how to respect our wisdom-filled elders.

Fall is a favorite season amongst many. For me, the affinity for it came much later in life. A time in my life where family wasn't just about vacations, acquiring new things for the house, or experiencing tepid seasons. I have realized that family is a foundation of many generations of heritage. It endures the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, but in between those fragmented moments lie the deepest of loves and sacrifices for one another. It is that which legacies are built upon. I let Fall of 2009 slip through the cracks. This year, I choose to bask in the warmth of home. A warmth that only family can bring. I want to live out the joys of being loved by so many around me. The dance of time will be performed in God's palette of colors. His harvest is plentiful. And so is His love...

~KH