Friday, May 09, 2008

The One Beyond A Shadow Of A Gout...


Well welcome back my inquisitive friends and family. Come one, come all...

A pang of guilt resides within me as my last entry seems like months ago, but, alas, it's only been a month and a couple of weeks. Time has indeed flown by since the new year, but recently I'm wishing it would slow down a bit. About a month ago, I came down with this horrible condition called Gout. For those of you who know what it is, I commend you because the ones who didn't thought it was some kind of horrible disease that was contagious. Now who am I to blame them since this form of arthritis brings upon this sense of putridity and a plain and simple "ewww." Why anyone would name something that rhymes and sounds like the stuff you use to piece tiles together and always eventually gets all grody and nasty is beyond me.

My brother had run-ins with this horribly-pained condition before and I remember making fun of him for limping at one point. I know...haha jokes on me. I learned quickly the effects of having gout and how that cripples you to no end. When it's at its worst, the throbbing pain plays second to nothing. Supposedly this whole gout thing happens to older people. My boss gladly informed me that this was an old-timers condition. So much for that "Asians age gracefully" bit. It almost seems as if life is passing me by and handing me things to deal with that I normally wouldn't at this age, but we all know life isn't fair sometimes and you just have to roll with the punches. The pain hasn't completely subsided - it's been a month and a half now - and it crippled me for a few days last month where I couldn't even leave the house. Good thing I have a lovely wife to take care of my every "whining" need. Enough of this harping on gout business. Let's venture down to a more serious matter. I had the glorious opportunity to write the latter part of this entry in the midst of the Great Smoky Mountains the other day. It was late in the afternoon and I found a perfect spot to bring a laptop and just write away. It seemed wrong to bring a laptop to where I was - in the middle a stream with trees all around - but it sure did lend a helping hand to getting out some emotions I didn't know were there. So here goes nothing...


Nestled in the southern edge of the Great Smoky Mountains is where I currently reside. It was over eight years ago where Howard and I took a trip up here to God’s country. For the longest time there was a huge picture I hung in my office of this tub mill in the Smoky Mountains. I would often stare at it wishing I could be there just resting in God’s arms…taking away all the cares of the world. Between the years of 1998 – 2001, I often found myself void of this world and wanting to be so close to God. It was the only comfort I knew. It meant that I was close to Mom, too.

In 2000, Howard and I took a trip up here to go camping and ride some trails. One afternoon we stumbled on this motor nature trail along the Roaring Fork River. It was a beautiful retreat for the heart, mind, and soul. Shackled up in my Yellow Xterra, we took in the crisp mountain air, the beautiful colors of a perfect sunset, and the rustling stream that accompanied us. Towards the end of our idyllic journey, we came up to a tub mill that reminded me of the picture in my office that had long been my refuge of sorts. Howard was also familiar with this picture and we both thought that this could very well be The Tub Mill. We traversed down to the age-old rocks that the forceful stream had smoothed over for hundreds of years. This gave us a better look at the mill – and also the perspective that the photographer must’ve taken the picture from. It didn’t take long for us to realize that we had found that exact location where my favorite picture was taken. We reveled with insurmountable glee at the most serendipitous of moments.

This time around, I’m up in Gatlinburg, Tennessee on business – The Gatlinburg Law Enforcement Conference to be exact. It just so happens that the mouth of the motor nature trail is on the same road my hotel is on. I had been excited all week to take a little escapade to see my old friend, The Tub Mill. It’s just as serene, tranquil, and beautiful as it was when we last visited. As I’m perched on a moss-ridden rock, I type away the emotions that are simply pouring and overflowing. The memories of life come rushing back with the swaying of trees, a cool breeze brushing against my skin, and the trickling water flow between the rocks that determine its path. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that this elicits raw and nostalgic feelings. There’s so much I want to write down, but I can’t seem to harness them all in. Even though I’m alone right now, the surroundings connect me to the very source of all this majestic tapestry. The sun is quickly fading and the air is becoming all the more cold. Tomorrow I head home to see my lovely wife. This was the first time we have been away from one another since that momentus day of November 10, 2007. It has been hard to bear, but God knew what He was doing when he led me back to this home away from home.

Coming back to this very place soothes the weary soul. It’s a reminder that my roots are firmly planted in the streams of His everlasting love. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for carrying me through the highs and lows of life. The reflection of my past is clearly seen as I glance into the steady stream of grace that's poured over me. I am so thankful for memories that can rekindle my faith in you. When I was in the darkest of moments, you lifted me up with your promises of hope and strength. Your presence comes alive when I’m in the midst of your creation. The vivid scenery fills me to no end and I’m a better person for it. There is no higher praise than this in life – where you’ve been taken to soaring heights in spiritual freedom; and the dance with Him bringing life's fulfillment for the ages. It’s not everyday I can escape to this place. I’m so grateful for this very moment that God and I captured together. Until next time, may your souls rest; may your hearts dance; may your minds lead you to His ever-loving arms of peace.

Below is a picture I took of the Tub Mill looking at it from the opposite direction:


~KH

Iron Man (viewed on 5/7) - 9 Turkey Legs
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (viewed on 5/26) - 8 Turkey Legs

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