The remaining moments of 2008 are quickly distancing themselves from my languid mind. On the forefront of 2008 was the assimilation of marriage. And aside from minor adjustments here and there, the bliss that many people tried to convince us of…or sometimes convince us out of, were fended off with me and Amanda’s will to just make this marriage ours and not anyone else’s. I feel 100% successful. God’s role in all of our challenges and successes was clearly defined and felt. And as we traverse the uncertainties of 2009, I am comforted by the factions of Christ Jesus who declares that He was, He is, and He will be. This is not to say that things will be a cakewalk – how incredibly naïve that would be. But having the mindset that reality is a perpetual force that hands you a mixed bag of ho-hums, cheers, and fears will continue to be the driving force of these baby years of marriage. As a follower of Christ for close to 14 years now, I have come to the stark realization of how the fragility of my faith can easily be manhandled by the toils of my ambition. I set out to be the best husband I could be from November 10, 2007 forth, however, many a times I have fallen short and have had to ask God for renewed vigor to battle the weakness that always seem to follow a prideful lapse. And even though I was without Amanda for almost 30 years of my life, I know now that I function better as a servant of Christ because of her. We continue to define our roles in this marriage, and I hold close every moment that passes us by. The promises of what tomorrow brings excites me because I know God will continue to use us to enrich one another's lives, but also reveal ways that we can do the same for people that we come in contact with – be it family, friends, or strangers.
This past Christmas, we were handed one of those ho-hum types of moments. We knew heading up to my in-laws that Granny wasn’t doing well. Stage four bladder cancer was what she had been battling for months, and a quick decline occurred the weeks prior to Christmas. We all knew in the back of our minds that this Christmas wouldn't be what we were used to. But Buddy's experience was an entirely different story since he took on the role of primary caretaker for her well being. I won’t go into too many details of it, but I know without hesitation that this man of God, who I proudly call my father-in-law, is God’s grace and mercy personified. Seeing him carry out God’s message at church on Sundays is something to behold. The conviction to which he preaches baffles me because when he’s at home with the family, he’s the coolest dude in the house. He's calm and steady; devout and loving; and all this tucked gently behind his manly facade. Residing mostly to his shed to twiddle out a project or two (you know, easy things like shelves, pedestals for washers and dryers, decks, an add-on dining room, handicap accessible ramps) is his therapy and method of solitude. I’ve told Tonya and Amanda before how cool it is see these different sides of him. Don’t mistake what I’m saying here. Buddy is not an actor of Christianity. He practices what he preaches so vigorously that every time I visit Albany I’m left with a raw emotion that writhes within me…making me want to be that good of a husband, man of God, and father-in-law one day. But in this instance, he was simply a loving son who took the love of Christ and weaved it into every single thread of Granny’s remaining life. Not just reluctantly, but in the most delicate of ways keeping in mind the fragility of her precious life.
And then there was Tonya’s quiet, yet, unwavering and resounding support during this huge undertaking. I’m not going to sit and type away pretending like I know what being in years of ministry is like, but I know for a fact that Tonya’s role as a preacher’s wife all these years has not been an easy road. Many a times she has had to take the high road and take the criticisms along with Buddy. And being that support system for one another is a hard enough task in a regular marriage – I can’t imagine it when you’re under a microscope trying to lead God’s flock with a family in tow. Week in and week out, the juggling act of church duties, taking care of the grandparents – who live under the same roof – and other infinite errands would take a toll on two people. But she’s one person making all these things work in harmony. Supermom she is and always will be in my eyes.
So during their time off, they had anticipated spending some extra time with me, Amanda, and Chad. With Granny in the condition that she was in, and the daily routines of Grandma and Grandpa, an overwhelming truth unfolded before our eyes. There was this sudden moment when I realized that my walk with Christ over the past 14 years manifested into a beautiful revealing of this picture of humanity being doused by God’s sacred love for each and every one of us. I loved this picture that Buddy gave me. It was my favorite gift this Christmas...
*Irene Helen Harris passed away on the morning of 1/19/09 to be with our Heavenly Father. We will miss you, Granny.
*The picture atop of this entry is not one that Buddy gave me. However, it did capture the essence of what I felt when writing this.
~KH
Gran Torino (viewed on 1/11) - 9 Turkey Legs
Slumdog Millionaire (viewed on 1/17) - 8 1/2 Turkey Legs
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