I would be lying if I said that I've been dwelling in a lackluster state the last two months. My every being has absorbed the goodness of His abundant blessings, and therefore I feel as if a new life has been given to me to pursue. The time apart from Amanda has gotten progressively more difficult to bear during the week. I am so thankful that, although we're an hour and a half away from one another, that it's not longer - things in life can always be worse and more humbling. This certainly gives us the option of seeing one another on the weekends...while daily emails and phone calls suffice. Spending time getting to know one another's family, friends, respective towns, and such has been so amazing and fun. Taking turns driving to Albany and Tallahassee for each of us wore out its welcome pretty much the first couple of times, but the realization of this wonderful gift of sharing and investing a life with someone is one of life's most beautiful things.
After mom's passing, it took me quite some time to accept the fact that I would never have a full and complete family. Instead, I learned to cherish dad and Tony (this automatically defaults Julie) all the more. I can't even begin to explain how much it means to me that Tony and I get together regularly these days. From meeting for lunch to eat Chinese to spinning wrenches on the weekends...or now, riding our bikes together. My last trip out to California was one of the most emotion-filled times I've had with dad. The thought of his sons heading back to Florida broke his heart to pieces. In addition to my blood family, I have been so fortunate to have had lifelong relationships blossom before my eyes. Howard (and essentially the Bonhamers) and his undying and unwavering friendship to me and my family; the Hollands, Harts, and Buckleys being the perfect example of God's grace and love. I have slowly learned the last few years that family is such an extension of God's love. I've become an advocate for having a house being a home for a family instead of just a roof over your head. I see different families interact with one another - all showing different facets of life being lived to its fullest potential. I can't help but to desire that as I age.
The thing of it is, the loneliness I have felt since mom passed has at times made me feel like a nomad of sorts...spending and investing time with different families. It has been absolutely amazing to have been welcomed in with such huge and lovingly open arms each time. At the same token, there was always this feeling of emptiness because it wasn't ever my "own" family. At the end of the day, I still knew that mom wasn't here anymore and that dad is on the other side of the country. I think that has accelerated the desire to want my own family one day. Each time I have been up to Albany, I have been given such tremendous opportunities to get to know not just Amanda better, but also her loving family. If this is a new chapter in my life, then I certainly hope that it's got many, many more words before I move on to the next chapter. I have learned so much just sitting around and talking with each one of them - how this family has come to be and how that has shaped Amanda to be the person that she is today. I mean it's one thing to say that I know them better now, but for me to feel that I've been sewn into this family's fabric of life has been so utterly overwhelming and flattering. I can sit here all day and type how much I adore them and how they have taken a liking to me, but that would be an understatement. They have made this little boy, who struggles with insecurity, feel like a king. Not just a regular ole' king...but one that is deserving of a queen in Amanda. The thought of possibly taking Amanda away from them one day is such a scary thing because of the love they all have for her - and that's not even remotely close to how strongly they feel for and love her. It's really downright intimidating - but in a good way if that makes sense. I guess it speaks volumes to me that they all seem to trust her judgement in wanting to be with me and pretty much flat out telling her that they see a future in the two of us.
Amanda's grandma and grandpa have taken a special interest in me for some reason. Ever since the first time I met them, they became very interested in who I was and how I was to become a part of Amanda's life and their lives. You can't help but to feel honored because they are so wise and such beautiful people. I see them as a clear and vivid picture of how God wants relationships to be like - full of love, adoration, respect, and compassion. There's this special bond that has quickly developed with me and her grandpa, Charles. He calls me, George. For the longest time now, Charles has always referred to Amanda's "to-be" boyfriend/significant other as George. So whenever he asks about me these days, it's always, "Where's George?" "When's George coming?" "How's George doing?" "George better not be with his other girlfriends in Tallahassee." I think it's hilarious and we all just roll with it.
Our witticisms are bantered back and forth like two mad-crazed Chinese men in the middle of a ping pong rally. He's so tough and strong-willed, but then I'll hear stories of how he'll ask about me when I'm not there and then telling Amanda the sweetest things about me - things that'll make any grown man cry. It's then that I'll get a glimpse of his heart and see why he is such an amazing patriarch of this family. I feel so privileged to be a part of this entire family, but I have always had an affinity for grandparents. They have so many stories to tell and are always so effected by younger folks investing time in them. As much laughter and happiness I may bring them, I think I quickly realized that the wisdom and love they have shown me in the short time that I have known them, are words of life that will one day help me with my walk with Christ and Amanda. Every time I step foot into their home, I feel nothing but warmth and smiles. That added with all of the aforementioned families and relationships, makes me feel that I'm at the cusp of understanding God's family and how one day I will be given that gift. Life is good and abundant. And I'm the happiest boy in the world right now because Amanda knows George...
~KH (George)
After mom's passing, it took me quite some time to accept the fact that I would never have a full and complete family. Instead, I learned to cherish dad and Tony (this automatically defaults Julie) all the more. I can't even begin to explain how much it means to me that Tony and I get together regularly these days. From meeting for lunch to eat Chinese to spinning wrenches on the weekends...or now, riding our bikes together. My last trip out to California was one of the most emotion-filled times I've had with dad. The thought of his sons heading back to Florida broke his heart to pieces. In addition to my blood family, I have been so fortunate to have had lifelong relationships blossom before my eyes. Howard (and essentially the Bonhamers) and his undying and unwavering friendship to me and my family; the Hollands, Harts, and Buckleys being the perfect example of God's grace and love. I have slowly learned the last few years that family is such an extension of God's love. I've become an advocate for having a house being a home for a family instead of just a roof over your head. I see different families interact with one another - all showing different facets of life being lived to its fullest potential. I can't help but to desire that as I age.
The thing of it is, the loneliness I have felt since mom passed has at times made me feel like a nomad of sorts...spending and investing time with different families. It has been absolutely amazing to have been welcomed in with such huge and lovingly open arms each time. At the same token, there was always this feeling of emptiness because it wasn't ever my "own" family. At the end of the day, I still knew that mom wasn't here anymore and that dad is on the other side of the country. I think that has accelerated the desire to want my own family one day. Each time I have been up to Albany, I have been given such tremendous opportunities to get to know not just Amanda better, but also her loving family. If this is a new chapter in my life, then I certainly hope that it's got many, many more words before I move on to the next chapter. I have learned so much just sitting around and talking with each one of them - how this family has come to be and how that has shaped Amanda to be the person that she is today. I mean it's one thing to say that I know them better now, but for me to feel that I've been sewn into this family's fabric of life has been so utterly overwhelming and flattering. I can sit here all day and type how much I adore them and how they have taken a liking to me, but that would be an understatement. They have made this little boy, who struggles with insecurity, feel like a king. Not just a regular ole' king...but one that is deserving of a queen in Amanda. The thought of possibly taking Amanda away from them one day is such a scary thing because of the love they all have for her - and that's not even remotely close to how strongly they feel for and love her. It's really downright intimidating - but in a good way if that makes sense. I guess it speaks volumes to me that they all seem to trust her judgement in wanting to be with me and pretty much flat out telling her that they see a future in the two of us.
Amanda's grandma and grandpa have taken a special interest in me for some reason. Ever since the first time I met them, they became very interested in who I was and how I was to become a part of Amanda's life and their lives. You can't help but to feel honored because they are so wise and such beautiful people. I see them as a clear and vivid picture of how God wants relationships to be like - full of love, adoration, respect, and compassion. There's this special bond that has quickly developed with me and her grandpa, Charles. He calls me, George. For the longest time now, Charles has always referred to Amanda's "to-be" boyfriend/significant other as George. So whenever he asks about me these days, it's always, "Where's George?" "When's George coming?" "How's George doing?" "George better not be with his other girlfriends in Tallahassee." I think it's hilarious and we all just roll with it.
Our witticisms are bantered back and forth like two mad-crazed Chinese men in the middle of a ping pong rally. He's so tough and strong-willed, but then I'll hear stories of how he'll ask about me when I'm not there and then telling Amanda the sweetest things about me - things that'll make any grown man cry. It's then that I'll get a glimpse of his heart and see why he is such an amazing patriarch of this family. I feel so privileged to be a part of this entire family, but I have always had an affinity for grandparents. They have so many stories to tell and are always so effected by younger folks investing time in them. As much laughter and happiness I may bring them, I think I quickly realized that the wisdom and love they have shown me in the short time that I have known them, are words of life that will one day help me with my walk with Christ and Amanda. Every time I step foot into their home, I feel nothing but warmth and smiles. That added with all of the aforementioned families and relationships, makes me feel that I'm at the cusp of understanding God's family and how one day I will be given that gift. Life is good and abundant. And I'm the happiest boy in the world right now because Amanda knows George...
~KH (George)
Freedomwriters (viewed on 1/27): 8 Turkey Legs
Rocky Balboa (viewed on 1/28): 8 1/2 Turkey Legs
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