1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping onfiltered= 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knot-furlong
7. 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
9. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1000 aches = 1 kilohurtz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
15. 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
16. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
17. 10 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
19. 1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
26. 3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
27. 100 Senators = Not 1 decision

The Illusionist (viewed on 9/3): 8 Turkey Legs

The Lady in the Water (viewed on 9/6): 7 1/2 Turkey Legs