The One With Summer (not a girl but the season)...

This is truly sad. Summer is still two months away and I'm already starting to dread some of the things that go along with it. The infiltration of pollen has finally subdued; and before I get to enjoy my car's new yellow paint job, hints of the infamous oppressive Tallahassee humidity swarms in like Anglo Saxons at a Chinese Buffet. I don't even know why they tag my culture before the term "buffet." Especially since most of them serve French fries, pizza, and other fried nutritious goodies that are so far from Chinese cuisine it's not even remotely funny. One of them being "Crab Rangoon." Which banana thought of this brilliant idea? Let's stick cream cheese into something Chinese-ish, fry it up, and sell it off as if it's something from Mainland China. I'll try not to think these irksome thoughts while taking my final exam later on today. Moving on...

I thought it would be befitting to list some of the things about summer that would possibly peak my interest, not peak my interest, and stuff that I'm not quite sure how I feel about just quite yet. So here it goes with no particular order of importance:

Things I'm Looking Forward To

1. Being able to commute to and from work without all of the traffic that's brought upon school being in session. There are some really bad college and high school drivers out there. Add that to the existing pool of cell phone equipped soccer moms in their SUVs and you have yourself a private showing of the Oscar-winning film, "Crash."
2. Fireflies - cause they're yellow.
3. Being able to ride my bike past 8:00 P.M. and not worry about those goons in cars who refuse to share the road!!!
4. Watermelon and Bing cherries. I consume these things by bulk it seems every summer. I'm sure Publix Jodie would have had a field day coming up with some witty comments about me coming there so often buying these juicy and sugared delights.
5. Tiger hopefully not winning the U.S. Open, British Open, and or PGA Championship. But I do genuinely wish his father well and hope that he will beat his cancer.
6. The NBA Playoffs in HD.
7. The NHL Playoffs on the Outdoor Life Network - huh? (I still haven't figured out that whole TV contract deal). I think the last time I was actually interested in the NHL Playoffs was the 1993-1994 season, when the NY Rangers won the Stanley Cup. I believe that was also the season the Mighty Ducks left the womb of Hollywood cinema for the NHL.
8. Going with my brother to see my dad and extended family in CA. Also getting to visit mom at Rose Hill Memorial Park.
9. Playing more golf and regaining that ghetto golfer's tan.
10. Playing more racquetball with Bruce.
11. Howard being a wife and grilling yummy meats.
12. Attempting to write my first letter to dad and my grandma in Chinese.
13. The smell of grass being cut more frequently.
14. Slurpees!!!
15. Blockbuster summer films - the good and bad ones.

Things I'm Not Looking Forward To

1. Walking outside and being soaked in sweat - in less than five minutes time - due to the oppressive heat and humidity.
2. Keeping my car under 3,000 RPMs as much as possible to get better gas mileage.
3. Did I say humidity yet?
4. Nancy Dignon and Mike McCall talking about the rain deficit. Mostly Nancy because of her atrocious make-up and refried-bleached-blonde look.
5. Tropical depressions and storms turning into hurricanes. Please just do figure-eights in the Atlantic this season. All of you from Alberto to William.
6. Using the AC in my car. Windows RULE (but then the ceiling liner gets dirtier faster - UGH).
7. Having to shave Murphy because he looks like Buckwheat's cat these days.
8. Wal-Mart flooding their sales floor with back-to-school stuff the week after school gets out. Give the kids a break would ya?

Things I'm Still Debating On Whether I Should Do Or Not

1. Save money to continue my Chinese education (FSU is not offering the class I was suppose to take in Fall of '06 until Spring of '07 - thus pushing my new job hunt that much further back).
2. Join Gold's Gym to play more racquetball with Bruce - using money that would've been for Chinese class.
3. Become a summer member at a golf course with the aforementioned funds.
4. Continue to eat Lean Pockets for lunch during the work week to save money and to aid my weight loss. What Jared did for Subway, I will do for the folks at Lean Pockets.
5. Being a teacher or a worker during the week of VBS.
6. Shaving my hair off to avoid having to mess with it in the morning and to save the $12 I spend on haircuts every month.
7. Continue to lose my banana persona by studying Chinese on my own time. Hopefully the ghetto mentality from college of, "I'll be productive and do homework over Spring Break," won't kick in.
8. Driving to Macclenny a week before July 4th to spend ginormous amounts of money on fireworks that doesn't last long enough.

I think that's about it for now. So here's to a wonderful summer filled with hot dogs and burgers on the grill; yummy potato salads from Publix; corn-on-the-cob; ice cold drinks rapidly condensating; and NOT boarding up windows in fear of those Katrina-type phenomenons. God will be in the midst of all this...and for that, I am glad...

~KH