So Happy 2006 and stuff. It feels like it’s been a long journey. There’s me, the “wannabe” writer (key words here being wannabe), and you, the faithful reader. Thirteen entries later - along with many grammatical errors displayed (I still correct what seems like at least one error each time I read over them) - and its only been about two months since I started writing all of this mumbo jumbo. I really don’t know how long I’ll continue this or the frequency to which I'll transfer what I’m thinking and feeling into words, but I’ll be honest: It has been a welcome treat for me to express some of my ponderings. Thank you humbly to all of the readers (all being VERY relative). For those that know me well, you know I’m one that typically goes “against the grain.” I really don’t know how to avoid this predicament I’m in. Do I make or not make any resolutions this year? There seems to be an ongoing trend to not make New Year resolutions. I think I’m going to follow suit and not have any goals spurred on by this mild phenomenon. It’s so cliché to turn over a new leaf or whatever you want to call it. I’d like to think that I’ll continue to blog not just for the readers but also for my own sanity. But before I go on, I’m having some issues with this term, “blog.” Is it even right for me to call it such a thing? I mean I’m technically just using this blog space for journal entries right? In the short time I’ve started this stuff, people usually will come up to me in person and comment or email me. Nobody has posted anything – hmmm…I think I like it that way because it keeps my “blog site” looking clean and clutter-free. And again, for those who know me, you know I’m a neat freak, so please don’t post any comments on my blog. If you do, I’ll delete it – hahaha, ok I won’t, be a rebel and see if I care. So from this point on, I’m officially calling my blog site, “Journog.”
Shall we move on to even more lame stuff? Yes, I believe we should. So I’ve been on vacation of sorts for the past week or so. It has been a wonderful delight to be able to sleep-in and wake up to the joyous sounds of Plinko chips trickling, a big wheel spinning, and horrible/moronic bidding (always say, “ONE DOLL-A” when there are preceding bids over $3,000 for a microwave people!!! Yes, that even applies for the grandmas that have been watching the show before their Metamucil days). Sleeping-in may not be the best way to describe my slumbering activities, since I went to bed after 4:00 in the morning on more than one occasion. Regardless, it felt nice to be able to not hear alarms going off or waking up to mere daylight. Alas, tomorrow I have to head back to the sweatshop, or a little place I like to call work. It’s been a fun ride this thing called sleep. Buh-bye.
The last couple of days have been foggy and dreary outside. Those two weather conditions are the biggest advocates for vegging and whatever activities that require no brain fluctuation, whatsoever. There was a glimmer of hope today: I found myself enamored to the Food Network whilst eBaying on my computer. Next thing you know, I convinced Howard to head off with me to get the ingredients to this yummy wheat pasta Penne dish with spinach, goat cheese, cream cheese, and garlic. We also succumbed to the estrogen side of things and purchased another piece of kitchen gadgetry. Most people call it a “food processor,” but GE labels it as a “Deluxe Chopper.” Thank goodness we’re just two guys with a relatively big kitchen. We can at any time hide or showcase our fine companions to cooking. You know how it goes: if the boys are coming over, in the dark and cold cabinet spaces these pieces of equipment go. However, if any parties of the opposite sex come knockin’ on our door, we make room on the counter for these wonderful machines to glisten in their innocent and natural state of beauty and splendor (and this behavior will clue you in as to why we are still single – how lame). Thank you and goodnight.
Wait, before I go shut-eye let me tell you a little more about our mini-adventure. So after we traversed the always-populated grounds of Super Wal-Mart, we gathered about what was left of our butch-like qualities and headed on over to Publix. Apparently, Sam Walton left a memo about not selling Goat Cheese at his fine establishment. I'm not hatin' on you Sammy, just wishin' you carried some cheesy goats or something like that. So anyways, we arrive at Publix. There we were all secure in our masculinity (oh my) - two guys in adidas flip-flops and raggedy attire walking to the fine cheese section at Publix. That mental image is about as odd and out-of-place as Michael Jackson walking into a tanning booth. Not a pretty sight I tell ya. I’d like to take this opportunity to officially apologize to everyone (more so to the ones that accidentally or unfortunately glanced at us) shopping at the Killearn Lakes Publix between the times of 6:00 and 6:20 on the evening of Monday, January 2, 2006. Howard and I know not what we do when dressed in such hideous fashion. We winded up purchasing the following items:
Block of Reggiano Parmesan Cheese
Block of Frico Goat Gouda Cheese
Two bottles of Heinz Ketchup (our industrious-sized bottle at home is close to its final depletion and these were “Buy One Get One Free”)
So I approach the “10 Items or Less” checkout lane. A lonely young lady was there awaiting to scan this obscure menu of items. Four beeps later, I make eye contact with her and she says, “Ketchup and cheese huh?” I look to my left and right (by this time I had established that her name was Jodi), and before speaking, I had come to a dumbfounded resolute. “Yup, ketchup and cheese,” I said. “You’re just jealous.” Jodi banters back – “You didn’t even get the ‘Fancy’ kind.” I could only muster up the following line…“At least it’s not ‘Catsup’.” She laughs (maybe out of pity or disbelief), and I’m left thinking to myself, “Wow, I’m such a dork.” She bags up the items and sends me off with my fine cheese and tomato products along with her warm wishes of “Have fun with your catsup and cheese.” “Thanks Jodi,” I replied. So we've established that nothing screams coolness like buying non-fancy ketchup and fine-cheese together. I’ve never been more convinced than I was at that moment that I’m destined to be single in this lifetime – Oy Vey. So this haunting memory can’t be erased out of my memory banks soon enough. I must now press on to Wednesday night, when there will be six to eight of us boys sitting in front of two TVs playing Mario Kart whilst enjoying nutritious nachos and Taco Bell tacos. Who’s laughing now Jodi?!? Yeah I know, you and everyone who’s had to suffer by reading my current “Journog” entry. Thank you Lord, for humor and for the way it's lavished upon me at all of the right times in my life...
~KH
2 comments:
Not only am I going to leave a dirty, cluttering comment. I'm going to laugh at you. :) Hehe.
~E
Well done my friend, well done...
:)
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