Tapestry of Musings: The One Riding St. Mark's Trail...

Two Saturdays ago, a small group of us braved the trail of St. Mark's at breakneck speeds. Aside from the windy and almost blistering conditions (ok, not really...but I've never been one to turn down melodrama in entries), we steadily paced ourselves during the midst of some very sweet fellowship. It was Mike, Janet, Howard, and me. We've been wanting to get together for a ride for some time now. We started right past the halfway point and rode down to where the trail ended at San Marcos de Apalache Historic State Park. The park, although small and not too eventful, was a nice place for all of us to take a breather and enjoy the beautiful weather that God had blessed us with that day. It was windy and overcast for most of the ride there, but when we arrived, the skies parted for some much needed sun and warmth.

The entire ride was about 16 miles for us that day. It was a really nice distance as all of us were really hungry afterwards. We went to Seineyard for a late lunch. For those of you unfamiliar with the place, it's a really yummy place for seafood. Aside from providing nourishment, it was a great way to accent the perfect day we had up to that point.

As some of you remember, I started riding again back in July of '05 - and ever since then, this bike of mine has given me such great memories. If it's just riding around my neighborhood after work, riding to Tony and Julie's, local trails, or with others, it really has given me a new appreciation for how God ultimately brings things into my life when I least expect it. When I first started riding, I would've never thought that the places I often stop during my rides in my neighborhood would be the most perfect place to watch sunsets with God. It has also brought together times with Howard, Mike, and Janet...and even Tony last Thanksgiving. I think I'm beginning to realize, even if I hate to admit, that I'm in this season of life where I yearn to have relationships with people instead of just avoiding and being introverted.

I think this idea of investing my life in others first began during a couple of Bebo concerts where he compared his life on the road touring and not being able to spend time with the people he cared for most. He explained that it wasn't that he didn't cherish the times where he would do "meet and greets" before and after concerts (I'm glad because I was one of those people to whom he met), but that he had been worn out and needed some consistency in his life. The thing of it was that in his inconsistent life, God remained consistent. And in search of that consistency, he opted to just take time out of his life to invest himself in people that he had been wanting to share his life with. I guess for me, I took that to heart because the important part of the entire story was that when Jesus walked this earth, he spent a bunch of time with people. But some of the most intimate and important moments he shared was with a close group of people - the twelve apostles. It's not that the others Jesus came in contact with weren't important, but I suppose that there's a certain truth to the saying of, "there's a time and place for everything." For me, I've felt like I've been walking a path alone for some time now. Maybe the years since mom passed have been a long-term grieving process? I don't know what it is but I've felt this tugging of sorts this past year - more so than even the years past. Although I can't say that I'm "Social King," the close ones to me can probably tell you that I've been a bit more inclined to do stuff, if not, just with the people that are close to me.

The thing of it is, I've slowly realized that relationships are so important in life. You share an abundance of laughter, joy, and sadness all in this cocoon called, life. This whole bike thing has been a such a blind stepping stone of sorts. It has propelled some close relationships to levels where I never imagined them to go - and me being committed to the process has, in turn, brought upon others, old and new, that I can call my "twelve apostles." It's not necessarily twelve per se, but each person who God has brought into my life for one reason or another has shown me that the fabric of life can often keep a human soul warm in the midst of some pretty cold and dark times. I'm not going to name drop, but know that I often mention your names to God when we gaze upon the beautiful sunsets together. I think what I'm ultimately trying to say is that I'm so happy and filled with joy right now. The peace that knowing I am loved by God and the people he has weaved into my life have been so overwhelming. There are days where I'm eager to actually see people (albeit certain ones) and less days where I want to be alone. I think that's a beautiful thing.

I usually start to feel a little sad during the holidays because I know that mom is no longer here to share the warmth and joy that it brings. I can't deny the fact that it's just easier to be alone than being with other families and not reminiscing, but maybe...just maybe the relationships that have been culminating over the course of this past year and the years preceding it are things that will remind me that all the family I need is sitting in front of me.

Tomorrow I will ride into a sunset so beautiful and serene. The Lone Ranger and Tonto like God and me. Sustain this soul, O Lord, and breathe life unto me...

~KH