Greetings and salutations to all from the friendly skies of “soon-to-be” bankrupt Delta Airlines. The ghetto complimentary snacks have just been consumed, and the flight attendants are coming around with the outstanding and refreshing beverages. Alongside me this time is my brother, Tony. He has notified me that he’ll attempt the two-drinker request (meaning that he’ll ask for their two-sip Dasani water and a Coke). I’m gonna do the same…except the latter being Mott’s Tomato Juice (it used to be Campbell’s, which is far superior in taste). I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that every time I travel by air, there’s a certain beverage preferred. For me, it’s tomato juice. Don’t ask why. It must be the combination of altitude and the fact that I’m anal.So once again I’m catching the “red-eye” back from CA. This now, is my second time in a row and it’s quite the experience. You’d figure that these flights would be barren, but alas, it’s the complete opposite. Both times they have been filled with kids galore. Not so much a problem compared to what I’m about to describe. You see, if you’ve been an avid reader to this site, you will have noticed that 95% of the entries are always posted in the wee hours of the morning. My last red-eye flight back from CA was prime for reflecting on my grandma’s passing and funeral service. It then presented itself as a time to delve into the brain to see what would come about in typed-prose form. Ultimately, it proved to be the perfect time to write due to the peace and quiet of the hushed surroundings and fresh out-of-my-mind experience of everything that had transpired – sans the 500+ MPH winds roaring amongst the wide-spanned wings of a 757 jet and people coughing and snoring. That still doesn’t pose as much of a problem as the dude in front of me who has decided to lounge his seatback all the way to Timbuktu – we’ll call it my knees for all practical purposes here. The problem that this creates is me having to type in a contortionist-friendly position. My elbows are struggling not to pass my ribcage area. The armrests, which equal the size of a credit card in width, are all but useless. The only way to describe this tragic scenario would be with a one-word beckon…GAH!!!
There’s no use in me describing this atrocious predicament any further. It has presented itself to me in a most unexpected way. Pardon me while I stop this entry until I get back to the confines of my room in Tallahassee to finish the rest of this final installment to my CA trip. Bye for now (August 6 - 4:05 A.M. from somewhere over Arizona or New Mexico).
It’s August 12 now. Six days from when this entry came to a screeching halt. I’m back to my “creature of routine” days of slaving the 8:30 to 5:00, and then riding my bicycle around 7:00 in the evening, and finally settling in with dinner, DVDs, or watching the tube with Howard and the ever-aging Murphy. This summer has flown by for me. It seems like just a few weeks ago where I was commenting on school being out. And now, the dreaded back-to-school junk is exuding from each and every storefront; daylight fades upon the horizon one-minute earlier each day (I was starting my bike rides closer to 8:00 earlier this summer); lastly, I feel so refreshed and rejuvenated after staying the week with my family out in Rowland Heights, CA. And that is what I'd like to finish off with for the remainder of this entry.
As you can see in the previous entry, my family and I took a mild trek up to Sequoia National Park. The 14 of us shared a total of four rooms at the Best Western located a couple miles from the park's entrance. The first night, we had the biggest ramen noodle party you could ever imagine. The females of the family loaded up one of three vehicles with bags and bags of premium ramen (not the inferior ones you get from Wal-Mart or your local supermarket - the extreme kind with huge bowls and multiple seasoning packets and etc.) and assorted dishes. We all gathered in one room and had the best time heating up a couple bowls at a time and just enjoying one another's company. Much laughter occurred, but that's to be expected if my dad and I are around. You can just imagine the amount of clowning around and spitfire wit coming from both of our mouths. It was all good. After much breathtaking scenery in the mountains and a last night dinner at a local barbeque joint (my cousin Warren rode a mechanical bull - I never thought there would be an aspiring country boy in the family), we took the three-hour trip back into town. There was an Angels vs. Athletics game that night that I had bought tickets for. There were ten of us who attended this wonderful function. A good amount of nachos and hot dogs were consumed and all was well. The temperature was cool and even brisk at times - pretty much perfect weather. We didn't really have any other plans set for the rest of the week other than to see my mom, Puo Puo, and Uncle James at Rose Hill Cemetery. I knew the rest of the time involved a lot of eating (gained five quality pounds), Slurpees, nachos, fun with cousins and family, and time with dad. But what I ultimately left CA with was a much deeper appreciation of family and how that bond can enrich a human life by no bounds.
Tony and I stayed at Goo Goo's house this time. She's the younger sister to my dad. She bought the house from her older sister (I call her Goo Ma), who bought the house from my mom's older sister Kitty (aka San Yee Ma in Chinese). All these names can be quite confusing, but in the Chinese language we have a different name for each aunt, uncle, cousin, and etc. to determine if he or she is from the father or mother side. It really helps in conversation to keep people from wondering if he or she is from which side of the family. So anyways, Tony, my dad, and I slept in the living room all week on this huge wrap-around couch. At first, it was a bit ghetto, but it turned out to be such blessing in disguise. My dad was let go recently from his job as a newspaper courier for one of the biggest Chinese newspaper companies in the world. It was essentially the company wanting to make more money by dumping full-time drivers for part-time ones so that they didn't have to pay for insurance and other relative minor expenses. He got a pretty ghetto shaft from a company that seemingly had no need to do such a thing. But what do I know? I'm just a banana walking around the stomping grounds of USA.
Night after night, the three of us would share each fading night with much laughing, stories, and sweet moments of being a family again. I think that's how mom would've wanted it. To be honest with you, the three of us knew that the job layoff this trip out was such a mixed blessing. Aside from dad not having any income, it proved to be some much needed time for us boys to affirm the ties that always seem to weaken with distance. Dad is looking in to getting a Class A License so that he can drive trucks – at least for the next few years before he can retire. As a son, I can’t seem to avoid being a bit worrisome about him pursuing this line of work – driving big ‘ole truck from coast to coast. There are many factors that have gone into his decision-making process – mostly ones that seem logical and somewhat intelligible. I won’t bore you with details, however, suffice it to say that I’m a bit ashamed for not being able to provide him with any financial help during this time. I see this beautiful parallel of God’s gift in Jesus and dad sacrificing his life for me and Tony for over 30 years now - and how my life is all the more abundant and fulfilled. And when it’s time for me to step up, I falter terribly it always seems. To keep from walking down the path of self-pity, I think I’ll just wrap things up now.
This trip out to CA turned out to be so much more than the typical trip out there for me. Aside from being on business for the first week in La Quinta; being with family in the Sequoias; spending more time than ever with my cousins - seeing how they’ve all grown to be young adults and how the generational rolling-over perpetually unfolds; and how fun-loving the Kan family is, I felt my heart and soul renewed in such a manner to where I felt the wonderment of being in the openness of His grace. It’s not what I deserve, but in abundant fashion I am loved by dad, Tony, my cousins, and the extended Kan family. All of this under God’s grandiose love. As Tony and I left the front door with our luggage, dad followed us out to send us off. He grabbed firm to both of us as if we were to never meet again. This was the first time that I can remember the three of us in a group hug. Tears were openly advertised for each to hear – all to reassure that the love we often hide beneath our skin and voices is always there for the offering and taking. There we stood – dad not wanting to let go of his sons – in a moment that will never leave me. As I reflect on this moment now, I think of mom and how her life brought the three of us together in a way that I would never have imagined. Her loving sacrifice was left behind as she laid beneath God’s warm ardor for the taking. I felt a big part of me clinging to that moment. I couldn't quite grasp what was taking over my emotions. All I knew to be true was that this feeling had eluded me for a long time. It was the feeling FAMILY. The feeling of being together on holidays, birthdays, or just simple meals. We celebrated dad's 51st birthday for the first time as a family in about ten years. We bought him a yummy ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery and took him out to lunch along with the rest of the family.
What I'm taking away from this trip is a sense of belonging, unconditional love, acceptance, and a certain peace that I hid from after mom died. I felt so alone and scared to where I truly was lost in my own sadness. Never once did I share my true feelings with anyone. Well, Providence has come full circle, and now I'm home with my family inside. It won't leave me again. A firm hold will be cast until the winds move and His love leads me to my final home...
For Dad, Mom, Tony, Nai Nai, Goo Ma, Goo Goo, Uncle Allan, Jane, Uncle Kenny, Susan, Warren, Julia, Wayne, and Matthew.
~KH
The Descent (viewed on 8/4): 7 1/2 Turkey Legs
Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (viewed on 8/5): 7 Turkey Legs
No comments:
Post a Comment