I think I'm starting to believe in this whole "turkey makes you sleepy" thing. There's a chemical in turkey called, L-tryptophan, that allegedly brings on this spell of lethargy. It worked this Thanksgiving. My brother, who was so kind and gracious to have made this dinner from Food Network's acclaimed chefs' recipes, did a grand job of feeding the both of us and making us doze off while watching Ocean's Eleven. The day started off with me sleeping in; proceeded by me working on my bike and car; and then a relaxing bike ride on roads nestled in the wooded areas of Killearn Lakes - what an amazing way to spend the day off.
This Thanksgiving, I am so thankful for my family. My brother is the quintessential big brother. He has always made sure that his little brother was taken care of. He did the obligatory "standing up for me/protecting me" when others treated me badly, but along with that also came the times where he would try his Bruce Lee moves after his kung-fu classes on me. Not my idea of fun, but those were good times I suppose; in a weird cosmic brotherly kind of way. Over the last few years, my relationship with him has blossomed steadfastly. With the passing of mom, we really had to buck up, drop the testosterone shield, and really count on one another during the emotional roller coaster rides. I can't ever recall hugging my brother while growing up (maybe those bear hugs he tried on me after watching WWF qualify), but over time, there have been a few occasions where I found myself balling in his arms cause all I wanted was my bigger brother's shoulder to cry on.
I have this thing about using the term "LOVE." My family was never big on using this term. We didn't use it when we hung up the phone or when saying good-bye to one another. I think it may be this Chinese culture thing, if not, then most certainly a Kan family thing. It's weird because I've become this sad case of not living up to my word as of late. I say all these things but don't follow them up with actions. In comes the Kan family: We're a relatively big clan as my dad has two brothers and two sisters, and I really can't remember a time when the word "LOVE" was used to express things at family gatherings. We never did communicate it that well vocally, but if the amount of love was ever measured through actions, I can honestly tell you that Hippies would be kindly derailed from their love trips. I can't even begin to portray accurately how much love I have felt through my immediate and extended family. We're all like these love assassins - doing all these things behind close doors without needing any kind of praise. There has always been this heavy underlying tone of love. I am so honored and blessed to have experienced what I've experienced growing up in this family.
This "LOVE" thing has somehow taken on its own personality with me. Ever since becoming a Christian in '95, I've had this conviction about certain words not coming out of my mouth - obvious ones being of the foul variety. The words "LOVE" and "AWESOME" have been the top two words I really stress not using unless appropriate. I feel those two words have lost their luster in society as so many people use it loosely to describe their level of liking something. I'm not hatin' on those people (hatin' is bad anyways - it's not good for your health - try "dislike immensely" the next time you want to use the word hate), it's just that for me, I want those words to mean something when I use them. For instance: God is Awesome and I love Him. Now don't ask me about my track record of showing Him that because you'll be sadly disappointed (the whole sinner thing gets me every time). In any case, it's just a matter of personal preference for me. I want to save those words for the times when I genuinely and passionately mean it. I'll digress yet again...
So this Thanksgiving was grand in its own way. I spent it with my brother laughing and eating. And towards the end of the day, we both spoke with our dad on speakerphone. I'm so thankful right now - not so much for the L-tryptophan-filled turkey or canned cranberries. But because I felt so loved on a day where families should be together. And even though my family is down to three testosterone sources - one being way out in California - all of the warmth, serenity, and tranquility that a holiday of this magnitude brings forth, I was once again the littlest one being shown love through actions from my family. Mom, we miss you more than you'll ever know. I love you Dad, Mom, and Tony...
~KH
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